DUP Use £1bn Tory Windfall to Produce Hamilton Style ‘King Billy: The Musical’.

 

Photo by Public Domain Pictures on Pexels.com

The DUP have used this day, the 12th of July, to announce their showbiz intentions. They are to invest their £1billion windfall for propping up Theresa May’s government in a theatre production with a historical Hamilton twist called King Billy: The Musical.

The epic begins in the Boyne Valley around 1690. It tells the tale of the charismatic William of Orange, through a magical sash handed down through generations, to modern day descendants, a campaigning MP, trying to change the name of 17:30 in the afternoon to 1690.

There’s no business like show business for DUP leader, Arlene Foster. “Sure I’ve always fancied this impresario craic”, confirmed Foster, wearing glasses that made her look like the joke thief, Joe Pasquale.

“There’s a lot of strange, ‘theatrical men’, the type who wear cravats and the like. One wanted to change the lead to a transgender hero called Wilma of Orange we wouldn’t budge. We remained steadfast, loyal and true to the story. As you know, the DUP know how to drive a hard deal.”

When asked if the show, like Hamilton would feature R&B and hip hop or maybe, because of the hats and horses, some country and western? Foster was candid: “Will it f**k. Ulster Folk music only. No surrender.”

Pricing was cleverly branded and structured, starting at £16.90 for juveniles.