The Curious Incident of the Frog Doing a Shite

wild flowersThe Daisy Park without Bonnie or Kermit.

There we were, an unlikely trio, Bonnie the loveable but sadly dumb-bimbo lab, a frog and me.

We were getting down with nature in what’s affectionately known as the Daisy Park. I was trying to capture an image of Bonnie bounding through the wild flowers when she became distracted. There it was, a big frog, perhaps a toad. I don’t know the difference. Who am I? David Attenborough? It was leaping, stressed out, trying to communicate.

‘What’s that Kermit?… You’re lost and stranded? You’ve leapfrogged too far from the canal?’ Bonnie was unsure. She sniffed. Then looked at me. She was scared. Then it occurred to me. This is my chance to make it on to Getty, Shutterstock or  Wikipeadia Commons, a photo of the frog, with the dog, in the wild flowers.

Never work with dogs and frogs. They were terrible models. I used a doggy bag to pick Kermit up and took him over to the canal. It might have been too much to expect an expansive, orchestrated, messianic soundtrack as I heroically released it near to the canal. He looked back, nonchalantly leaped off, emitting a jobby as he did so. Maybe it was a toad stool? I missed that with the camera too.

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