Bercow, complex. Blatter just nuts.

Bercow Parliament 2greggs

It’s all love and respect now. But just a thought with regards to Speaker John Bercow’s over dramatic patronising desire to maintain tradition and be respectful and give the SNP, the backward hillbillies, a telling off for their over-exuberance. That’s OK, new club, arcane and outdated rules, respect the clubhouse, no dancing on the tables, no cartwheels on the greens.

I admire the restraint shown by SNP MPs. I would find myself running at the pigmy faced pug and kicking him in the Woolsack. Easy pedants, I know the Woolsack’s in the House of Lords but let’s not allow factual accuracy to get in the way of a funny mental image.

Maybe it would just be more fitting to heckle him. When he talks down to you look him in the eye and ask why he took £1300 in expenses to attend an MPs funeral? If he gets cheeky, ask him about the £177 for a limo ride between Parliament and Euston. While you’re on a run ask him about the £96,000 in travel and accommodation, a jet-set lifestyle, all from tax payers money…

When I see people who seem inconsequential find power and authority my default position is usually to rebel against them. So here’s my plan. We break in overnight and build a big Greggs right behind the Speaker’s chair (designed by Pugin). In fact, a Greggs in the middle, a bookies on the left and a Geeze Yer Gold franchise would thrive in Westminster too.

Having said all that, I think Bercow is just a complex, unpredictable chap. According to a recent interview in Hansard, when challenged by one traditionalist Tory that it was a disgrace he’d hosted a function in his palatial Commons apartments for the (LGBT) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender, community, Bercow replied:

“I can’t help your bigotry… that’s your problem.”

Well said that man.


Crazed Dictator (left)                                            Sepp Blatter Fifa President

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